i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
