You're so nebulous sometimes
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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