I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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