I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
