You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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