The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
