why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
