I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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