he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Be still, my beating vagina.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
