I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
