You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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