ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Come on in and take your pants off
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