Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
