ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
