I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
