turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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