found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize