u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I should be sponsored by Trojan
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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