He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
