Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
