doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize