you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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