Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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