My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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