you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
this will be a night to untag.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
