Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
