there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize