hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
