Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
