Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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