She said her name was "party"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize