If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
