K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
