That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
