I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
