apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
