worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
