He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
