sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
smell my finger.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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