Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
