i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
