I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
