Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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