did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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