super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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