It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
