this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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