I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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