hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
