nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize