i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
