Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize