bring money and cleavage
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize