Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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