She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I touched a dick in church today
Damn victory sex feels great
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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