Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
