I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize