loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have post one night stand depression
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