The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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