She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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