I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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