omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
