: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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