i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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