and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
