Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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