my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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